Bitter Sweet, this on my way home thing...

Well this would be a very opportune time to update my blog!!! I am sitting in the Hong Kong airport with free internet and still more than 9 hours until I take off toward Vancouver! So I have been out of Africa for two weeks now and I still long to go back... that probably won’t change!! So, what have I done for two weeks???

Well, I have been in Indonesia with Kim and Tris and Matthew and Abby. It was an amazing time. I enjoyed seeing their life in Indonesia and the meeting the community that is around them. It was a perfect opportunity for me to catch up with them and to rest. I did a lot of resting and sleeping and recovering that I would not have done if I had of gone straight home. Although resting is the main event I also did a few other things on my journey. I discovered ‘cream baths’ which are about 1.5 hours of head and shoulder massage including a luxurious hair washing that almost put me to sleep. I did two of those, one for each week and they only cost about $5!!! I also had a full body massage which is beyond description for less than $10... I think that I would go back just for those two wonderful things!!

I was also invited to share about my experiences in Africa as a nursing student to about 150-200 Indonesian nursing students. I love to talk, I love Africa, and I love nursing so as you know when I talk about Nursing in Africa, I become a little passionate... it was a great experience.

I also got to share my life story with a group of ladies from all over the world. I really enjoy using the experiences of my life to encourage others and to talk about God.

We also went shopping; apparently shopping is what you do here. Indonesia, or rather the bubble in Indonesia where I was staying, was much more western than I expected... I got Starbucks and Wendy’s and Donuts...

Last Friday Kim took me to some slums in Jakarta... and of course my heart came alive, I think that I needed to see some poverty to help my transition home to Canada. I helped a Dutch woman teach English to 10-13 year olds. Let me describe the room and environment and them I am going to go find Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. We went down many tiny allies, so small we had to walk single file and then came to a set of stairs that even half my foot couldn’t fit on and the angle was closer to that of a wall or a ladder than inspection approved stairs. The room was at the top of the stairs a short distance down a little porch. It was about 8ft by 10ft and filled with the smiling faces of children. I have baked cookies in cooler ovens than that room. There was a single fan, not pointed in my direction. The smell is indescribable because our methods of dealing with waste in Canada are far to civilized for your imagination. But even in this, you know I was playing with these kids and making faces with them!! I would go back regularly just to have these kids teach me how to speak Indonesian.

I saw something in these kids that I also see in my African kids... I saw joy, imagination, resilience, and even hope!! The buildings and walk ways that these kids live among are built over the grimiest water that I have ever seen... everything is on stilts and I could barely trust my footing ever. I could not even imagine living here, let alone during an earthquake or during the regular flooding.

I am sorry that there are no pictures of this adventure but my camera found a new owner, without my permission, somewhere along the way.

I know that I missed parts of this adventure but I am tired and hungry so I will go eat and then find somewhere to sleep.

I am sorry if my tiredness is way too evident!!

Blessings, Candace

Just a quick peak inside my heart...

So life in Pemba is coming to a close. :) :( :) :( :S

I have many mixed feelings about this. It seems like in the last few days, my heart is being further broken for this place and these people. My heart is ever expanding in my desire to love and care for people with HIV. Lately it has been the women with this disease that are becoming so near and dear to me.

Yesterday as I was organizing donations, I heard my name being called from the direction of the clinic. The nurse, a good friend of mine, was asking for my help. She was reviewing women and the babies that they care for who are eligible for our formula feeding program. She called me because she was overwhelmed with the need and all the sick babies, she wanted me to come hold babies and pray over them, because for many of them God is their only hope. Sitting in that clinic my heart broke again. I held sick baby after sick baby. At home many of these children would be in the hospital.

Three of these babies will be etched in my mind and heart forever. The first was a three month old with a bilateral cleft palette, unable to suckle on the breast or on a bottle. The mother must feed her baby formula by spoon until they have an opportunity for surgery. I have never seen a cleft palette before repair and I am so thankful for the health care systems that we have in west, no matter how corrupt they may be, this child would have a different life.

The other two babies are twins, cared for by their grandmother. These twins are 14 months old according to their birth certificates. The brother weighs 6 Kg (13 lbs) and the sister only 4kg (8.8 lbs).... I have held newborn babies bigger than her. Just thinking of these babies brings tears to my eyes. Upon inquiry the grandmother told us that the mother was dead. Over and over again, grandmother after grandmother told us that they had their grandbabies because their daughters are dead. We never got a clear answer as to cause of death for any of them but my passion to care for people with HIV increased every time I held another baby with a dead mother.

I do not write this to make you sad or to make you feel bad for the poor orphans in Africa; I write this today because this is where I am at. Today I do not want to leave this place, I want to sit myself in the dirt and hold babies until they are healthy. I want to go into villages and teach about the reality of HIV and how one can still live a healthy life with this disease. I want to see fear and stigma die... I want to see these women and children live.

We all know that I am here in this place because of these passions and desires. I am amazed that these passions and desires are still growing in me, even in these last days before I head home to finish my education.

I can honestly say that I have learned multitudes more than I even thought possible in these past four months. Even though I have been here twice before, my life will never be the same again after this specific trip. I am so grateful for this opportunity to love and to serve. I have so much more to say and to share but it may be months or years before I process it all.

Thank you for your love and interest in my life and journey.

I would appreciate your prayers as I start packing up this season of my life. My heart is aching at the thought of leaving these precious people and all the friends (now family) that I have come so close to here.

See you in a few weeks (unless you live in Indonesia)

Forever changed.

Candace

Hi my name is Candace but you can call me Chicken...

Wow... A short break can fully change a person!

In April I applied for my Visa to travel to Mozambique. The embassy said that I could remain in Pemba for 90 days. Before I left I knew that I would be here for 124 days... So last Wednesday I have the opportunity and privilege to escape and go on a little vacation. A friend and I found a sweet deal on a return flight and decided that the hot showers in Johannesburg would be a great place to rest! So we left and in 72 hours I had 1 bubble bath, 2 days of shopping (the long term missionaries sent lists), 3 Hot buffet breakfasts, and 4 steaming hot showers!! I don’t think that I will ever be the same again, I lost about 6 shades of what I thought was a tan!

For the first time in my life I sort of enjoyed shopping, it was just so nice to wander around without obligation or responsibility. I did not realize how exhausted I was or how much I needed a break until I returned to Pemba... I am a new person. I am learning a lot about rest and taking time to re-focus, I think that it is more important than most anything else. How can we care for anyone else, African, or Canadian, or American, or anything esle-ian if we do not first care for ourselves.

Besides being rested there is not too much new going on here. I am building some great relationships with my housemates and still enjoying my interactions with the Mozambicans... I love throwing random kids up in the air! Tonight we start a week of 24/7 prayer... I enjoy these weeks and I look forward to the changes that happen as people pour themselves deliberately into prayer.

One daily event that I just remembered that might make you smile... One interaction that makes me smile everyday is when any one of a group of about 20 boys addresses me... these specific boys know that my name is Candace but they all call me Frango... the English translation is Chicken. This is because of a teaching I did back in May that involved a story about a boy named franco. So every single day as I walk around the compound I smile as off in the distant I hear that I am being summoned “Frango, Frango... Chicken, Chicken”

Here are some random pictures from the past months:

The first 3 are on outreach, the third being the view from the squatty potty, notice no door just a view...

The fourth is Augusta a little baby with Downs Syndrome that I visit with as weekly as possible

And the last is a picture after I cleaned one of my feet...